January 12, 2026
It was 25 degrees at 3 a.m., with the possibility of reaching 57 for a high today. I know, you can’t believe it, but it is true, the wind is going to blow, but only with 40 mph gusts. More of a breeze than a wind.
Today, I would like to introduce you to Frank. Frank was a four-year-old sorel gelding. His owner thought it was about time for Frank to start earning his way around the ranch, so Frank came to my house to learn how to be a horse.
Frank was plenty gentle; in fact he was too gentle for my likin’. When he was loose around the corrals or in the horse pasture, Frank always had to be right on top of me when I was outside. He would nibble and bite, a trait his boss thought was “cute,” and I though was totally unacceptable. Frank was like having an extra milk cow around place, always trying to get into someplace he shouldn’t be. Let’s just say, I didn’t care for Frank when I was on the ground, and things didn’t change much when I stepped into the stirrup.
Frank was as stiff as a 2 X 6 plank. Every time I rode him, I would have to work on flexing every part of his body. When I would attempt to show Frank something new, he would always fight it by wringing his head and kicking with one hind leg and then the other. He was kind of like trying to ride a broken sawhorse. Under the saddle, Frank was a spoiled brat.
But the worst thing about Frank was that when he got pressured, he would lunge straight up into the air, reaching an altitude that wasn’t normally friendly for horse and rider. At the very top of his lunge, he would sunfish with his left side aimed at the ground, and we would come crashing back to the ground! And I do mean crashing, often knocking himself plumb looney, and I would have to stand there for a few minutes while he lay, groaning, on the ground. Eventually, Frank would get up, and we would go on about our work.
I’d had Frank at our place for a month when I ran into his owner at a branding one day. He inquired about his prized steed, and I unloaded everything I saw as a fault about that colt. The wide-eyed owner finally confessed, Frank had been into the Loco Weed when he was a yearling.
I mentioned to this feller that he should probably shoot coyotes off Frank’s carcass the next winter, but he was way too fond of his oversized pet to even consider such an option. So I kept riding Frank, ever weary of us leaving the earth’s atmosphere whenever Frank felt pressured. We could sort cows and rope calves at a branding; we could work the alley, pushing cows when someone was working their hides, but never could trust Frank to keep both of us safe.
I had taught Frank a heap of manners about respecting my space, and that I didn’t need to inspect his teeth on a regular basis. I had learned how to read when Frank’s space exploration fits were going to take place so I could get clear of him. I could make the colt look plum usable most of the time. But I never could find the nerve to tell his owner that Frank was trustworthy. I finally talked the ‘ol boy into sending Frank for a ride on the short truck. Yep, lots of folks washed their hands with Frank.
Here’s the point, sometimes folks are just like Frank, they are so soured that sooner-or-later, you have to cut your ties and let them finish their trip across this ‘ol ball of dirt. Unfortunately, there are some folks that no matter how hard you try to help them figure out this thing called life, they seem to never be able to handle the pressure of life. They will always resort back to their mode of handling stress, usually drugs and/or alcohol.
Two facts about such folks: 1) You have to give them a chance to change. This will usually be a rather long, difficult relationship for you, but most often it is worth it. For the one or two Franks I have worked with, there have been hundreds of really great colts. The same with people.
2) When you cut ties with someone who refuses to turn away from their modus-operandi, you have to be straight forward with them and let them know that even though you are walking away, they could still make a choice to help themselves at any time and that you will continue to pray for them!
In closing, if you find yourself in a situation with a person who refuses to make needed changes, do not beat yourself up for their decisions. As I always say, don’t carry a burden that isn’t yours to carry. Some folks are just going to consistently make poor decisions; that’s not your fault. But please remember, for every Frank there are a whole pasture of good colts.
Tomorrow we will visit some more about handling pressure.
Giving every person a chance with you, Neal
