From the Home Place

November 23, 2025

Yesterday we discovered that God created Eve to be in “conflict” with Adam. Today we must work on “the rest of the story.”

As God created them “male and female,” it seems that He created them to be in “conflict” one with the other. Why, because conflict has a way of bringing about needed change. For example, my flesh is in constant conflict with God’s nature, yet when I submit my flesh to the leading of the Holy Spirit, this Christian thing works really well.

To understand what it means for me to submit to the leading of the Holy Spirit, let’s go back to the round pen, training a colt. As I have mentioned before, before I can train a young horse in the way he should go, the first thing I have to do is to get that young horse to yield his nose to me. God created horses, and humans, in a way that where their nose goes, the rest of their body follows. As such, a trainer has to get a colt to yield his nose to the rider before there can be real harmony between horse and rider.

The same is true in the Christian walk. The first thing the Holy Spirit desires for me as a new Christian is that I yield to His control. When I yield (submit), there is real harmony between flesh and Spirit! The Holy Spirit does not desire that I submit because He is wiser and stronger than I am (yes, He is both of those), the Spirit of the living God wants me to submit to His headship because that brings harmony into the relationship. As such, there is purpose in the “conflict.” Christlikeness is that purpose!

In the beginning, “He created them male and female.” The female was given to the male to be his completer, not just his competer. Yet she brings that completeness by bringing “conflict” into the relationship. For as we discussed, conflict = change and change = Christlikeness!

Now we are ready for Ephesians 5:22, I hope. “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord.” Oh my gosh, I know I just said something really nasty, but please note, I didn’t say it, God did. Work with me here for a minute please, a wife is to submit to her husband “as to the Lord.” If a wife doesn’t first submit her nose to the Lord, she will never submit it to her husband.

Why does a trainer request that a colt submit his nose to the rider, because without the submission, the horse will never reach its full potential! To become all that it was created to be, the colt submits its nose to the rider to bring about harmony. No stop and think about this picture: Who is really in control of the relationship between horse and trainer – the horse is! Without the horse submitting, there will always be conflict between the two.

Why does God ask a wife to “submit to her husband?” Because she desires to be in control and the best way to harness that control is through submission. Remember, in Genesis 3:16b were God declares to Eve, “Yet your desire will be for your husband.” Then we must cross reference to Genesis 4:10 to better understand the word desire (the best way to understand a biblical reference is to look at a biblical cross reference). In Genesis 4:7b God is speaking with Cain when God says, “sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it.”

Once again we find our word “desire.” As sin desires to control Cain, woman will desire to control her husband, part of the curse. Yet, the New Testament says that the remedy is “Wives, be subject to your husband, as to the Lord.” It seems to me that the answer to this whole thing about submit is a four-part answer: 1) Submission to the Lord first is the key; 2) She is told to submit because it brings harmony to the conflict; 3) Because she is the one in control of said harmony; 4) She is the one strong enough to submit so that she can find her full potential in the Lord. Remember, submission is strength under control.

Now God commands the husband, “Husband, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” Husbands are to sacrificially love their wife, just as Jesus loves His bride. That means a husband is to put her first in all situations. Once again a four-part answer to why a husband is to love his wife: 1) Because God commands it; 2) Love covers a multitude of sins – love brings harmony in the midst of conflict; 3) His responsibility is to make the love of Jesus real to his wife; 4) He will be held accountable for the harmony within the home.(Gen3:9)

So, both horse and trainer have distinct purpose in finding harmony and joy. One leads and one submits. Yet I can say as a trainer, there is no greater reward than for someone to say, “Wow, that is an amazing horse you have there!” Now, please note Ephesians 5;27, “that He might present to Himself the church in all of her glory.”

Every godly husband is blessed out of his socks when others see his beautiful wife “in all of her glory!” As a female finds her full potential in Christ, she answers Proverbs 31:1, “An excellent wife, who can find?” The fortunate husband who has found a wife who first yields her nose to the Lord and then to her husband, because she is strong enough to do so, is the man who will declare: “I have found an excellent wife!”

And by the way, harmony is the result of the Ephesians 5 passage, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” That “one flesh” is the definition of the word harmony. A home that enjoys harmony – emotionally, physically and spiritually – between male and female is a home of true joy!

Celebrating every excellent wife with you, Neal (Because I have been given such a wife!)