From the Home Place

One of the realities of getting older is knowing that I have seen more sunsets than I will ever see sunrises. Yesterday, I allowed my mind to take me on a “backwards” journey. I examined my life in ten-year increments. When I returned to sixty years ago, I saw a twelve-year-old, blond-haired boy who was expected to act and work like any of the other men within our community.

You see, way back then, there wasn’t much room for childhood. By the time I was 12, I had already been breaking broncs, milking cows, digging post holes and fixing fence, killing rattlesnakes, butchering chickens, pigs and cattle, pulling calves, cleaning barns, driving, haying, being present for birth and death, and exposed to most every detail of life for several years. Growing up on a ranch didn’t leave much time for childish things.

The Apostle Paul makes a similar comment in 1 Corinthians 13:11, “When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.” I have to wonder, what would our culture be like if our American males had a little less childhood and a lot more manhood? I’ve often made the comment, “One of the greatest travesties of America is that we have feminized the masculine and masculinized the feminine.”

I would suggest that we need to get back to developing masculine men. Men who know how to do the hard things of life without blaming someone else for their lot in life. Men who were willing and able to accept responsibility for making wise decisions and can be trusted to follow through with completing tasks in a correct manner. Men who give way more than they receive.

Many years ago, I read a book about manhood that really challenged me. Within the pages of “Wild at Heart,” John Eldridge made this statement, “Masculinity is endowed, not learned.” That means that boys need to have another man teach them how to be a man. Much of our modern-day version of men contains being macho instead of being masculine. Macho is self-centered, while masculine should be other-centered. Instead of bragging about how great and awesome of a person I am, masculinity always asks the question, “How can I help you become the person you were created to be?”

Yes, I would agree that there is a certain amount of learning that goes along with becoming a man, but much of that learning needs to be guided by other men. Dads, and other men, need to be willing to invest time into our boys to help those younger men develop characteristics like honesty, respect, responsibility, accountability, honor, courage and gentleness.

I was very blessed to have a dozen men from my home community who invested a lot of time into helping me become the man that I am today. Not only did they teach me the do’s and don’ts, they lived those elements before me on a regular basis.

So, you are probably asking, “where do we find men who are able to train such men?” I suggest that you start by looking inside your local church. There should be plenty of godly, mature men within your local congregation. Men who are not critical of boys, but who are willing to help boys learn how to “put away” childish things and begin developing the characteristics of biblical manhood. Please understand, it’s not as much “where” a boy grows up that helps him step into manhood, it “who” he grows up around that gives him a better shot at that goal.

Yep, “Boys will be boys,” but I would suggest “And men need to be men.” Jesus Christ was the greatest man to ever walk across this ball of dirt, let’s teach our boys to follow His example, with His attitude, as we men live out those elements, thus developing great men, husbands and dads!

Doing my part with you, Neal